To work with groups of adults during the “Children and War. Teaching Recovery Techniques” therapy sessions is always more difficult than with children. At least one or two participants have a skeptical attitude towards the program. In one such group for adults who came from the Kharkiv region, participants opened up gradually, were mostly passive, but took turns talking about themselves and practicing exercises. Nataliya was different, she did not want to talk about herself. At the first meeting she made it clear that the techniques offered by the trainers would not help her cope with her problem. When the trainers encouraged her to share, she replied that she would listen to others, and if she wanted to, she would then tell her story. Only at the fourth meeting was the woman able to talk about what happened to her. She immediately said that she did not believe in the effectiveness of the techniques and considered it all just playing. But every time she listened to the feedback of other participants and only then decided to try the techniques herself.
Nataliya told that since the beginning of the war, her village was occupied for some time, and then it was under intense shelling. Now her house is destroyed, there is no home to return to. And even these terrible events were overshadowed by the horror of what happened to her daughter. Nataliya remembers that bombings were very frequent, but the residents of the house learned to run outside for water between attacks. It was relatively quiet that day, her daughter said she would go get water as it was safer on that day. Nataliya was afraid to let her go, asked her to stay, but her daughter assured her that she would be careful. She said that explosions have not been heard for a long time, so everything will be fine. She was gone for about 20 minutes. Nataliya began to worry, until suddenly she heard the whistle of a rocket and an explosion very close to them. The woman ran out onto the balcony, saw her daughter lying on the street, many people around, and then an ambulance, a hospital, a disability…
At first, Nataliya thought that her daughter was dead, but then it turned out that she was injured by a rocket part. The woman realizes that disability is for life, thus it is difficult for her to accept what happened. She thinks every day how they should live on, how her daughter should learn to live with the trauma. After the sessions Nataliya began to practice the “Safe Place” technique and noticed that her anxiety decreased. She also really enjoyed using the exercise of strong positive self-affirmations. The woman started using it every time she noticed the appearance of negative thoughts. She also managed to perform the technique of choosing an imaginary assistant, who would help to cope with negative memories. However, Nataliya transformed this exercise. She didn’t imagine a superhero or a helper for herself, but thought of herself as a superhero for her daughter. At the last meeting, when everyone shared their impressions, Nataliya said that she felt better, became more emotionally stable, and almost accepted the situation with her daughter. They are now planning to prepare for prosthetics.
On the photo, group therapy sessions “Children and War. Teaching Recovery Techniques” conducted in March-April 2024 in Kotyurzhyntsi village, Khmelnytskyi region by the trainers of the “Helping Hand for Ukraine” project, Olha Traichun and Nataliya Skrylnykova.
We are grateful to our partner, Canada-Ukraine Foundation, for the financial support.
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